A Common Reason that Relationships Fail and Most Are Unaware They Do ItI was recently asked about how you can have a ‘chill’ break up for a piece in the press. When writing my answers on the best ways to do this, what to avoid, the best times etc, one thing that came...

The Power of Setting Yourself Lines, You Won't Let Others CrossWhat is like for you to say the word no? What is it like to hear it? Such a small little word, yet so very powerful. Does it bring up guilt? Make you feel strong? Nervous? All you are doing when saying no,...

If you have read any other of my pieces or listened to my podcast interviews, you will have heard the term Attachment Style on a variety of occasions. The repeated exposure to your primary caregivers has an enormous influence on how you developed as a human being and,...

This could mean many things to many people, body language, subconscious physical and psychological triggers, someone’s smell – but I would put that into the attraction bracket. Love however and the ‘language’ around this is different. When I talk about language in...

This is the question I left with at the end of part one, so what is the answer? First of all: This is one of those truly unanswerable existential questions, as there is a complexity and depth to love that as humans we have a hard time wrapping our minds around. But...

Since the release of my documentary – Forget Me Not – The Child You Left Behind, I have been working a lot more with people looking to explore this part of their lives. In the documentary we explore the constituent parts of ourselves that do not fit into the...

I have written some articles recently about the various reasons why we may find it hard to find a committed relationship and one of those reasons is a fear of intimacy. This is not a flaw in your character. It is a part of being human as intimacy leaves us open to the...

In part one I briefly introduced Debra and her destructive relationship patterns and explained Bowlby’s attachment theory. One of the reasons that these patterns exist is because of her attachment style. Here I will delve into this further with some examples of how...

What to expect when you try and 'Grey Rock' When you use Grey Rocking with a narcissist or someone toxic, you will no doubt, get a reaction. As mentioned in part one – you never tell anyone that you are using this technique, but they will notice the differences in...

I have worked with several people recently who have decided it is time to start dating again. This is a brief list of things to avoid when we get back on the dating train based on their experiences of past relationships. Putting on a performance Be authentic. If...

Is there is a narcissist or toxic person in your life and you have little choice but to interact with them? That actually walking away and having no contact just isn’t possible, or for your own reasons you have chosen to have this person in your life. You no doubt...

A question that I hear a lot when I am discussing unhealthy relationship patterns is ‘why am I always attracted to toxic people?’ or 'why are toxic people attracted to me?' You may have read lots of books on the subject or been to dating workshops to figure out how to...

1.Know what you want – one of the most common questions I ask my clients that gets an ‘I don’t know’ reply is ‘what do you want?’ We are driven by need and we need to know what we want, whether it is within your relationships, business, career etc... 2. Know why you...

When you take the time to reflect on your relationships from the past (or even look at the one you are in now), here are some things to recognise that they were toxic/unhealthy and what you can learn from them: 1. Red Flags Red flags are signals that there is...

Empathy is the ability to compassionately feel others' feelings and empathise with them. To ‘walk in their emotional shoes’. While empathy can be wonderfully helpful, it can also cause you to make mistakes that can hurt your relationships and lead to toxic/unhealthy...

Your body will react to the environment that it is subjected to. There is scientific evidence available to show that if you are subject to an emotional situation then it will have a direct impact on your physical state. You may dismiss things like headaches as not...

Or if they do then it is never really sincere! You have probably experienced times when people find it so hard to say sorry! I know that I have and it can be very annoying. It seems as if those words are just forced out of their mouths, or they are followed with a...

In the third part of why people stay in toxic/unhealthy relationships I am going to briefly discuss ‘trauma bonding’ and the signs that it could be happening in your life. It is where you become addicted to the hormonal rollercoaster that you encounter in certain...

This is the second part of blog, following on from why abused people stay in toxic relationships. These are just a few techniques used to get someone to stay in/return to an abusive situation. So, keep an eye out on how your relationship may develop: Step 1 - Standing...

Some people will say that easy and healthy relationships are hard to come by and sustain. But why would that be the case? Well, it is probably because they are used to attracting and being attracted to the types of relationships that keep them stuck in the same...

Another 5 Things to Be Aware Of: 1. Your Self Esteem Is Not Very High If you’ve noticed a decline in your self-esteem since you began your relationship, you need to recognise this and understand why, it might be from your partner.Toxic partners can criticise you...

When we experience emotional abuse in our childhood it can lead to cycle of toxic and unhealthy relationships. One reason for this is that we repressed what we went through as a way of coping. By noticing and understanding the signs of how it might still be affecting...

Watch out for these signs and save yourself the journey of emotional destruction of a toxic relationship: 1) They Move ‘Full On’ Into the Relationship If someone gets really interested in you too soon and tries to get close too fast, wave the red flag. If they ask you...

If you are in a relationship that you find draining, it could be that it is actually quite an unhealthy one to be in and could even be toxic! Here are 5 things that will tell you if this is a good relationship for you: 1. BEING AROUND THEM IS HARD WORK. When you are...

I wrote a piece about gaslighting in 2018 and it has been a phrase that I continually see pop up with the work I do around toxic relationships, so I thought I would write a brief follow up piece due to the frequency that it pops up in self-help guides and pieces...

Hi How much does your partner resemble the person you met and fell in love with? And how easy does your relationship feel now compared to what it was like before? Really take a moment to think about how things "used to be" between the two of you. Have things changed?...

Our thoughts are very powerful because they control our emotions, and our emotions lead to our behaviours, what we act on and how we react. The things that you say to yourself can be the number one support tool you have to guide you towards your goals and dreams. When...