Another 5 Things to Be Aware Of:
1. Your Self Esteem Is Not Very High
If you’ve noticed a decline in your self-esteem since you began your relationship, you need to recognise this and understand why, it might be from your partner.
Toxic partners can criticise you frequently, or take advantage of your insecurities (that they have likely shown you it is okay to share with them in the first place) and successes, give you backhanded compliments or just be generally negative about things in your life.
These people are highly insecure and do these things to lift themselves up. Yes, this is true, these people appear confident and in control, but this behaviour is all based in insecure needs.
If your partner is upset when you decide to devote time to your improvement, this is a bad sign and they want to keep you in a certain space.
2. Your Needs are Ignored
As a follow on the above, partners are there for each other, to listen to each other, raise each other up support and complement each other, meet each other’s needs when possible and reasonable.
If your partner seems to ignore what you want/need, say they will do something and never do, or generally ignore or dismiss what you say or what you want then this is an unhealthy place for you to be.
Your relationship is being built around what they want and you will never feel fulfilled.
3. Arguments Are the Norm – And even worse, you take the blame or responsibility!
Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship, but not on a regular basis. And if they have escalated to fights and arguments then something is definitely not right.
Does your partner tend to instigate these and ignores your attempts to de-escalate the situation, or you just can’t be heard or get through your point of view across?
If you always seem to be at fault, your partner may be trying to shift blame as they can’t allow themselves to be at fault, or are manipulating you to back down.
4. You Feel Drained, Exhausted and Just Don’t Know What to Do
Do you feel exhausted a lot of the time? Feeling constantly unusually tired, especially around your partner, is never a good sign.
If you invest so much love and effort into your partner and they don’t return it, you’re going to become drained as you are not getting anything positive, your energy is not being replenished. You may feel sad or even resentful, which are draining emotions. If your days are filled with disagreements, it is tiring.
If trying to take time for yourself to recharge isn’t allowed, you can’t regain your energy.
If negative periods are linked to time with your partner and better times are linked to time away from them, there the problem lies.
5. Love is a Rollercoaster
Do you find that you can’t predict their behaviour?
Are they full of love for you one minute and then ignore you or horrible the next?
This on/off attraction may be keeping you interested based on what it is you expect from relationships or think you deserve based on what your subconscious is telling you.
It keeps you guessing and on tenterhooks, you may find it exciting, but will drain you eventually. You can be okay with peace and calm, with the occasional issue, but it may not be what you are used to or allow for yourself.
If your relationship includes even a few of the 10 things I have listed in the two lists, it shows your relationship is toxic for you. If you address these with your partner, and they are not interested in changing them, it’s time to let go and move on. You deserve better!
IRC is a coaching approach that can help you with these unhealthy and toxic relationships so that you can manage them confidently and live your best life!
Contact me for your free confidential consultation by clicking the contact tab above or call 07709 350019.